Would you eat a poop sandwich?

 Is it almost lunch time?  Imagine with me for a second that you're STARVING!  It's 11:33 a.m. and you just can't wait to get to lunch.  Hunger supersedes anything else going on at this point, so you check out of your assignment and search out an online menu for a local eatery.  As you scan the menu, reading through the salads, appetizers, sandwiches, you stop dead in your tracks, as you're staring down a big picture of ... a POOP SANDWICH.  "House Specialty, Fresh Daily on homemade bread....$6.99"

You think, !@#$#%$% ??  You think it's a spoof. So you gather up your comrades and head down to this sandwich shop to see what it's all about.  You order the special, and literally get...... a steaming, hot.. well.. You get the picture.  Check please!

I feel like that is me sometimes.  The hunger for something more in life, a better _____(Fill in the blank with just about anything)___ , to feel happy, to not feel ALONE--is the driving force to nothing but a big...... Poop Sandwich---  I've sat in front of one of these lately, wondering "What did I do (order)!  There wasn't enough ranch in the world to make this thing edible.  See friends, little choices pave our way to either a balanced, fulfilled, HAPPY life.  Or, those little, at the time seemingly insignificant, choices lead us on a path of constant duress, through a thickly wooded forest of confusion, depression, financial upset, or just a string of constant bad happenings.  Ever been there?

I recently read a devotion that reminded me that life is more so comprised of all of those little choices we make during the day--How will I respond even though my feelings are hurt?  Will I go without forgiving them another day?  I'm married, this girl is beautiful, its ok to flirt a little bit right? I really want to drop these 15 pounds but am not going to workout or strive to say no to that cheeseburger? My wings are not hot, so will I give the waitress a bad time, fulling knowing she didn't cook them?  There's scenarios from here to Christmas on choices.  I think the biggest learning for me is that if I don't think, use self-control when necessary, and try to make the best decisions in all the little things, so that I don't end up still hungry, miserable, and with poop in my mouth.

God grant us the strength to make good "little" decisions, and also look outside our own "four walls" to see how these decisions directly affect those who are in our close corners.  Life's a journey and we're in it together!  Hoping to make a positive impact with my smart decisions!

Until next time,

Kris <3

My Rest is found....

                       Selah-I turn to you

One Desire (Acoustic) by Kari Jobe

Messy brings us back.....

Storms rage and the waves crash against my soul... Choices may have brought me here and things start to look dim.  Nearing the edge of collapse, I feel faint and struggle to see the light.  Espresso can't energize me the way that You do... I feel your Spirit near me and slowly the darkness dissipates enough for me to see your Hand.  I reach for You....             Take this heart, take my life--I rise to praise you, because no matter what, you LOVE ME.  No love will ever compare to that which you hold for me, your daughter, your precious creation......

Lord, help me hold onto you through this storm.....

I was given a plaque by a very sweet dear friend of mine.  It says, "Only God can turn our messes into miracles".  I sit and wonder, what exactly could those miracles be?  I know one thing is for certain, I don't feel very miraculous right now ---My heart is heavy, my mind is exhausted and I don't know how much more I can take.  I deal with the nagging of my will, his will, and HIS will--Lord I know that I have brought myself to this place.  One thing is for certain, that in the above two songs today, I have found some rest.  That regardless of the situation and the how's why's what's and everything else involved,  God is with me and as I turn my heart to Him, He will sustain me and turn my messes, into something greater for HIS glory. Amen.

<3 Kris

Coming Home

I must first confess that I struggle at consistency.  Just look at the last time I posted a blog. (ouch!)  How many times have I committed and RE-committed to my exercise regimen.  Eating better has been a core focus for the past six months, and that has gotten easier.  I can count calories in my head and make good eating choices with no sweat.  (Why can't I "arrive" in more areas!!????)

As I continue to run the rat race, it gets to be an exhausting journey!  Can anyone else relate?  I just get tired.  The fatigue is accompanied with loneliness, frustration and doubt.  (That does not make a pleasant dessert!)  I pursue what I feel is my "calling", make adjustments to my lifestyle, people come and go, and I end up pretty much where I started.

I don't know about you, but this girl doesn't give up easily.  Even when it comes to turning over many of those "tasks" and "plans" to the One who can direct my "paths"--I don't give in.  Instead of really living in the moment of every day, I'm seeking, searching, and carrying on---

    I don't know where "home" is for you or what your "home" life looks like, but for me, I hadn't realized I had a "home".  It's a foster home of sorts.  I think there are a lot of people there that can relate.  My long-time pastors are thankfully relocated to the SAME city I am.  Getting to reconnect with them after about six years was the BIGGEST blessing I've received in a long time.  They pastor a church full of people who really love others.  I'm not talking goofy, fake sentiment here.  I'm talking the real stuff--the real honest crema from the bean.

I've told my parents (what I refer to my pastor's as generally) how much they've impacted my life and that whenever I'm journeying and find I have no place to go, I ALWAYS have a home where they are.  I told them I knew I had to "come home".

Life can be a drag--for sure!  Life can be mediocre--you bet!  But life can also be abundantly overflowing with Joy, beauty, passion, and LOVE.  Just need the right mind set and people to make LIFE truly what it's meant to be...  <3

For those who've reached out and not ignored that this young lady needed to be reminded of all of God's goodness and love (I could name you, but I will just cherish you instead!)
Love-real, honest love-changes you. You see the world in a better light after having known it...Nothing compares to earth-shaking, soul-changing, mind-rattling love.--Me


Coming Home by Gwenth Paltrow
http://youtu.be/ixP0d8klLvI

Taking the High Road...Making it work

I am a Tim Gunn fanatic!  I am addicted to his approach, his words, and his stories. "Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's little lessons for making it Work" has been one of my top 3 reads.  From his demeanor and dress, I would propose Mr. Gunn to be a bit of a "diva" (my word of the hour for anyone that is extremely high maintenance).  His exquisite direction in fashion and his role on project runway paints a totally different picture than what I think is really there.  So reading his book was very refreshing and at the same time personally challenging.

When I look around the outside world from my little bubble I've created for myself, I don't see much I am fond of when other human beings are interacting together.  Definitions of the important "stuff" have certainly be rearranged: commitment, charity, community, communication.  The 4 C's that hinge on every activity of our daily lives'.  (These I will address in a future blog, but for now, I must stick to topic or else this could get REALLY long!)  With his book, Tim Gunn brings to life the 4 C's and also a handful of quotes that keep me in check.  Take the High Road and Make it Work are by far the most impactful things I've heard in a long time.

Take the High Road:  This one is a tough one because as I get older, the less resilient to peoples' bullcrap I become.  When you are a higher level thinker in a mass produced/consumed world and losing control of your tongue, it's never a good combination.  I'm here to create peace, not war. I am here to give you the same respect I believe I deserve.  I lend you an egg, please return the favor with a cup of sugar.  More times then not, you know how it goes---There is a certain point where you almost feel as though you have a sign posted to your forehead "Please wipe feet here".  The High Road approach means you will follow through with dignity and strength, (and in my opinion, find new people to associate with).

Make it Work is wonderful because it reminds me that I am rarely ever going to be dished a "perfect scenario".  That's only for Hollywood and exactly why motion picture film has been so successful in the romantic comedy scenario.  They should come with a surgeon generals warning of some sort: What you are about to view is pure manipulation of your emotions and ideals.  Remember, it's the movies.  Only here will certain things exist. :)    Anyway, Make it work to Tim Gunn is looking at your situation whether you're designing a dress or at a dinner party that is for carnivores and you're a vegetarian; to take the High Road and Make it work.  You may have to choke down a piece of meat in order to remain in good graces with your host (he is BIG on respecting your host/hostess). I think of all the times I have wanted to lose weight or do this or that, but then have a 100 excuses to follow of why I can't, instead of taking Life as We Know It and making things happen! (Making it work).

We will never be in the "perfect" financial situation to --take a vacation, save, have kids, etc.  But those that want, do. somehow. it happens.

Life is all what we make it.  What's cooking in your kitchen today? :) Make it work, clothed in strength and dignity..
Namaste,
Kristen

Where did YOU come from?

Do you know what is SUPER annoying!?  The last time I checked in with "self", I was feeling quite empty inside.  And as I sit here tonight, (greatly distracted by some jewelry online & countless other things), I can't find that darn empty feeling... and Who is this?  I feel ALIVE inside again... Kristen is in there and she woke up from her nap and wants to come out and PLAY!  All I can say is "Where did YOU come from?"

Now don't get me wrong, I am not complaining.  I have missed her quite frankly.  See, we go way back.  She has gotten us into a lot of trouble, laughed many laughs, cried many tears, and she is one of the craziest people I know!  But for a while there, my mountains were taller than me, and I couldn't see thru the clouds or over the peaks.  I spent more time looking at my feet scuff the ground or stress over BILLS (heaven forbid!) than I did anything else.  But here's what I have been thinking about lately... This actually just came to me-What if our valleys, our low points, are actually the OPPOSITE of what we make them.  Those low points, trials.. The stuff that really makes you say "blehhhh!"; bring us to a higher point of: understanding, faith, contemplation, consciousness, happiness, or F. All of the Above.

I look at the past few months and giggle out of gratitude.  I came upon a splendid idea once upon a time that suggested "Character building is not always comfortable"...   ~Take a moment and ponder that one.... ahhh, it's liberating....

I'll leave you on that note.  Until next time,

Kristen <3

Why so seriousss?

I love to laugh and sometimes use my sarcasm to its' last drop... Of course everyone has a different sense of humor or lack there of, so although others may not be able to tell, I do joke around A LOT.  There's a funny bone part of my dna that I think got a little distorted in transfer, but it's there none the less.  Joking around and finding something to laugh at are a daily occurrence.  Sadly, joking can be found offensive if given at the expense of another.  Or if ill-ly (haha, spelling!) placed amongst conversation, it can be taken totally UN-funny.  Either way, joking isn't always funny.

NoW, on the flip side of that coin:  As a human race, overall, I think we've gotten just way to dang serious.  To the point where most subjects have been reclassified into the "touchy" category.  Political correctness as explained here shortly, thanks to Wikipedia, is only one french fry short of the definition of a Zombie.

Political correctness (adjectivally, politically correct; both forms commonly abbreviated to PC) is a term which denotes language, ideas, policies, and behavior seen as seeking to minimize social and institutional offense in occupational, gender, racial, cultural, sexual orientation, certain other religions, beliefs or ideologies, disability, and age-related contexts, and, as purported by the term, doing so to an excessive extent.   

Zombie: The term is often figuratively applied to describe a hypnotized person bereft of consciousness and self-awareness, yet ambulant and able to respond to surrounding stimuli. 

Haha, I'm laughing now... Can you see the similarities!!??? UGH!!  As we progress in this lifetime, PC is the underlying premise for "everything we do" (we don't even know we are doing it, hence the quote marks--or hence the zombie definition? lol)  You can't make a comment on your facebook, might tick off someone--Say Merry Christmas on your voice mail or on your Christmas cards (or are they Holiday cards now??) in the event that someone out there may just NOT APPROVE and get OffEnDed!  Ohhh nooooooo, whatever shall we do!

There's a whole lot of eggshells out there that we are having to tip toe on and around.  Don't get me wrong, I believe in holding my tongue, choosing my battles, and having a strong moral compass to help me interact and live among other fellow human beings, but seriously---Why So Serioussss?   The late Heath Ledger asked this question in his final role as the Joker in Batman (2008).  He was a scarred fellow, coming from a broken/troubled home who enjoyed the company of other troubled rowdy individuals to give him a sense of belonging.  (He definitely gave PC a very large swift punt out of the park).  But his famous question holds a lot of value to what I'm trying to say here.  Where in the world did we all get so serious?  One looks "wrong" at another, makes a remark or says something "that doesn't set right" with another, or you're honest when you tell your friend, YES, those jeans do make your butt look big, and then she's tiffed when she is the one who asked..... It's exhausting isn't it?

Trust me, I'm guilty. I will never claim to have never let my mouth get the best of me.  However, as I've grown in thought, I've come to realize that we are all very different--more so than we give credit.  Reality is based on perception and although your reality doesn't fit into mine so well all of the time, it's no business of mine to segregate or try to dissuade you from your own opinions.  Think we all just need to take a chill pill and revel in (enjoy) the differences, and see if we can't learn something..... ;)

Until next time, take care and God bless... It's almost 2012!!   

Kristen

Chasing my tail...

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein

Have you ever watched a cat or dog chase its' own tail?  For a brief point in time, it forgets that their tail is in fact connected.  But still, with eager determination it salivates and grunts to catch it. ..Without any reprieve, they run in circles, pouncing and keenly attempting to capture that furry object that keeps "chasing them".  I feel like sometimes in life we chase our own tails.... Thinking that we can pounce on ((weight loss, breaking a habit, organization, learning a language, forgiving someone in our lives, cooking well, ...))) Unfortunately, if you're anything like me, you probably will get a great idea and expect it to just blossom from there.  We disregard the simple fact that to retrain the brain, fix bad habits, learn new ones, have a second language, or know how to function in an elevator without hyperventilating all take a new approach from what we have been doing currently. It takes effort, and possibly a change of direction..